New year, new you?

So you know it's been an overindulgent festive season when you think to yourself, "I need more elasticated jogging bottoms in my life."

That was genuinely my first thought this morning when getting ready for work. That and the puzzlement of my electric toothbrush losing power in my mouth and suddenly becoming completely overwhelmed by how I brush your teeth when it's no longer moving (even though it's effectively just become a normal toothbrush).

First world problems hey?

I've avoided the whole New Year resolutions for the past few years, I think due to some sort of misguided anti-establishment pretence. We're bombarded with messages of failure around people not being able to keep resolutions, around life changes not just being for Christmas (well, New Year), so I figured...don't do it, it'll only lead you to cry into your second Domino's of the week...

But actually, this New Year has been really helpful in drawing a metaphorical line under some things for me. Namely the whole world of pain I found myself going through from about October onwards. Don't ask me why (believe me, I've overthought it a lot) but I just went into a constant state of crises, so desperately low I just couldn't see my contribution to the world and why I should keep going. Now I'm one to be as proactive as possible in helping myself (I got myself back to the doctors and a referral to the mental health team) but even in doing that I couldn't recognise how well I was actually doing to just-keep-going. It's funny isn't it, how if watching a loved one go through anything like that, you have so much admiration for them in trying their best when they're struggling, but turn the mirror on yourself and you just can't see it.

So the turn of the New Year was actually a time of a bit more stability for me, and with that comes a less forced attitude to planning, with more determination to see a positive outcome. I was lucky enough to partner with Think Trigg on an Instagram competition collaboration before Christmas and with that I got one of their gorgeous life mappers. Now I have been known to have beautiful diaries, notebooks and planners never to actually write in them because I don't want to spoil them (I know I'm not the only one). But I put on my big girl pants, picked up a pen, and started the process. It's not only helping me with the bigger picture, but also all the smaller things I need to do to get there. Life seems manageable for the first time in months.

The point of this post? I guess it's to say, do you know what, life can be really fucking crap and hard and feel pointless, but there's way of reaching out to get you through it. Have a look at what you really want your life to be in 10 years time - what does that look like at 5 years, 1 year, 6 months, 3 months...where do you want to be at those points to get you where you want to be in 10 years? And, importantly, what tiny little steps can you take to get there.

Never feel like you're the only one who feels like they suck at life people - reach out to loved ones and give yourself a pat on the back, even if your only achievement that day is getting out of bed.

Love and gratitude,

Holly x